Let's just say... you'd be dead.

All I wanna do is *bang, bang, bang, bang!* and *cha-ching!* and take your money.
Tiff, Steven, Brown and I took a stroll down to Caswells for some shooting. We started out small-- a little gun with little bullets and a little kick from twenty feet away. We all did ok with Steven's help. :)

We traded the little gun out for a bigger one with a stronger kick. Slightly scary at first, but pretty fun to shoot! We had to go to the counter about a million times for different supplies or targets or whatever--I felt a little too needy but the guys working there were cool. Here's one of my silhouettes. The eight shots in the chest area were from 45 feet away and the three in the head and two strays were from fifty feet! Woohoo! Not too shabby for my first time. Poor Tiff, though. Let's just say that there was a forty-five percent chance she'd hit the silhouette... from twenty feet. :P

Q: Pizza is round, so why is the box square?

On Thursday I took upon myself the task of fitting an extra large pizza box into our full refrigerator. At first, I just tried shoving the box in-- it didn't work. I then tried shoving a little harder. After a few moments I began to complain about how the dimensions of box and open space were incompatible. My dad, filled with years of experience and mounds of stored-up wisdom heard me complaining and said, "Pizza is round so the box is square." I stared at him for a few seconds, then I looked over at Bonnie and the two of us started laughing. We gave my dad a hard time about his genius revelation for the rest of the night. However, I told Tiffani about it later, and she explained the answer to the question I should have been asking all along: Why are pizza boxes square? I'll let you ponder on that while you read the rest of the post.

Mrs. Bonnie Gutzman paid the state of Arizona a visit this last week. She was here for all of three and one-half days. And what a great eighty-four hours it was! We saw Fred Flinstone...

[don't we look like we're getting along really well? :)]

...the Grand Canyon...

[one slip and I was toast...]

...lots of cacti and some flowers...

[we basically risked our lives to get pictures of these flowers]

...etc. Then we visited Grasshopper Point in Sedona, where we saw lots of treacherous water and rocks...

[this is not one of the treacherous areas, obviously]

...a sunbathing skank (just kidding... but not really. but really, just kidding.)...

...and some really heavy rocks to have lifting contests with.

[Bo beat me, hands down]

Then we met up with my yang (Lindsey) and checked out southern Arizona. We went to an ostrich farm and fed deer...


...ostriches (FYI, you can say "ostrich" or "ostriches" for the plural)...

...which is a dangerous business...

[if you were wondering what I sounded like when Bo and I were hiking back up the Grand Canyon, listen to the ostrich at the end of the clip]

...as well as donkeys and parakeets.

We later met Lindsey's Alex (sorry, no picture available) and went to the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum. It was pretty cool, although Lindsey might have enjoyed the javelina part of it a little too much. :)

So... that was pretty much the shortest tour of Arizona ever. Although, you have to give me some credit since it went from the Grand Canyon (practically the top of Arizona) clear down to Tucson (practically the bottom... in more ways than one :P).

Now that you've had time to think about what this post is really about (pizza boxes, remember?) let's see if you figured it out. Why are pizza boxes square?

A: So you can fit ranch cups in the box, too. Duh! What's pizza without ranch?! Eating pizza without ranch is like seeing the world (which is also round) without a friend. It makes for a square experience.

End

Update on the BF-inA

So... I thought I had to wait until Monday to hear whether I got in, but they had the letters ready today! I was unprepared, but it was nice to know sooner than later that... I got in!

BF-inA review

I thought I would never be happy again in my entire life. The last couple of weeks I have been... minorly freaking out... about the BFA review, which was this morning. Since Friday I have been up until at least two doing work for classes and the review. There was church at nine and class at eight, so that was poopy. What's worse? No naps. Not enough time in a day, unfortunately. In fact, last night I didn't get to bed until seven thirty... in the MORNING... so I could finish stuff up for the review. :( We were required to turn in the five paintings we did for our Illustration 1 class, as well as up to 15 figure drawings from life and a sketchbook/work from outside of class. I suck at keeping a sketch book, so I found a bunch of things I had scattered everywhere and cut and pasted (well, taped) stuff into a sketchbook. I retouched the paintings for my classes (you might remember the bear I posted a while back) and figure drawings from my class and Tada! A "portfolio." I don't expect to get in. Hopefully that's just me being pessimistic so it won't be too much of a shock if I don't get in. However, I am quite far from being the best in my classes. There are very talented people in the program, and I'm sure most of them have been doing this type of thing for years. Buuuut, I try not to think about that. Anyway, I took snapshots of the first five paintings I've ever done in my life. They still need work, but whatever.

Assignment 1: Child Abuse



Assignment 2: Nursery Rhyme (Jack Be Nimble)



Assignment 3: Unhealthy Diet



Assignment 4: Conceptual piece for an article about masculinizing (sp?) church to get men to attend (doesn't look AS bad in real life)



Assignment 5: Book cover for The Rainmaker (not finished)

Oh so Sensuous...

Imagine walking into a restaurant and asking for a 24-inch sub... for just you... to eat right then and there... in the restaurant... with random people eating their three and six-inchers all around you. TWENTY FOUR INCHES! That's TWO FEET of bread, meat and cheese (at least)! You're pretty confident that you can easily cram that much food into your stomach without throwing up, so you have the shocked and disgusted girl behind the counter add mayo, lettuce and tomatoes to the already present ham, turkey and monterey jack. You settle down into your seat with your humongous sandwich taking up practically the entire table. A small cup of Dr. Pepper is squished in next to your sandwich in case you need to wash any of the sandwich down; you don't want to risk filling your stomach prematurely so you decide you'll be careful with your sips. You turn and nod to the lady at the counter and she starts the timer. You have thirty minutes to down it. Go! Makes you sick just thinking about it, huh? Imagine actually doing it. Now imagine doing it while sitting across the table from someone else who's doing it, too. Ugh. Just thinking about it brings back memories of that chokey, throwy-uppy feeling I got when I was on the last fourth of my sandwich and watching Tiffani take large, soggy bites of hers. All for a free t-shirt and your picture up on the "24-Inch Club" wall? Man. That's embarrassing. But at the same time, kinda cool. I ate twenty-freakin' four inches of bread, meat and cheese in less than thirty minutes (I only had 42 seconds to spare... it was a close one)! Here's the picture we got to tack to the wall with our names and times written on it. The shirts say "The second best thing you can do with your lips is eat a Sensuous Sandwich." How true that is...

B is for bear

We finally got our paintings back in my Illustration class, so here is my first ever painting! It got a B (for bear) so there's obviously stuff I need to work on before it's "finished," but yeah. There you go, Mom and Dad.

I thought while it already looks like I think I'm all cool --not true-- I would put up the "award winning" eggs since I don't think I ever showed it to you guys. Fascinating.

R.I.P. Lynyrd the Snow Cow

I have been whining about snow ever since the first flake fell this school year. But, on my half birthday, Tiffani was all pushing me in the snow and crap on the way home from school. As cruel as it was for her to do that, it broke the barrier I had put up between myself and snow. Later that day, Tanisha and Michelle wanted to go make a snowman. I resisted at first, but then they suggested a snow cow. I was secretly very excited. :) So, we went outside and got busy. It was hard work, and it seemed like no one had faith in our abilities--they all snickered when we answered the question of the night: "What IS that?" However, the snow cow was born.

Lynyrd Skynyrd, the "tipped" heifer, graced the otherwise bland and monotonous courtyard of Liberty Square for all of two days before some unknown, jealous vandalizers destroyed her. There wasn't a chunk of snow bigger than a softball remaining. Her name came from the brand "LS" that was on her butt. (Really it stood for "Liberty Square" since we all love to hate Liberty.) I had the privilege of working on her head, and Tiffani later joined us and created her stump legs.

She turned out okay, but in the end we all decided she was shaped more like a buffalo (that led to the removal of her udders). To give you an idea of her size, here is a picture of two cows--one living and one the model for her-- on top of her.

Anyways. Rest in peace, friend.