Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Today I feel stuck...

I can't decide if the people who never try to improve are the laziest, most detestable kind of people... or if they're genius. After all, trying is wasted effort in many situations. And it makes other people look bad, which only causes problems for you. Better to get the "years of experience" you need at a slow, steady, peaceful peace, than to actually get good at what you do and make a difference.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

So this guy gave me a flower...

"Yeah, we profile here. You look..." (tilts head sideways as he looks me over) "easy." He turns, selects a white and red flower, hands it to me, then leads me outside.

Needless to say, I left the flower on my dashboard to rapidly wilt in the blazing Arizona sun.

That's the last time I wear a t-shirt, basketball shorts, sneakers, and my hair in a bun when I go to get my oil changed... or maybe it's just the last time I go to that place for an oil change.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

I've never been more grateful for underwear.

Ok, that was a weird and possibly inappropriate way to begin this post...

I went through the temple for the first time on Saturday. It was pretty much exactly like they tell you it'll be... overwhelming, but in the end really great. I didn't have much time to stop and think about things after we got out of the session since we picked up the kids and went to a late dinner. But I did have time to reflect on the drive home from Albuquerque (I know, I know... who wants Albuquerque on their permanent record??) and over the last few days. I decided that I love my new garments.

I love them because they remind me of the safety and peace and spirit I felt in the temple.
I love them because they remind me of the beautiful covenants I made and the amazing blessings I have been promised if I am true to those covenants.
I love them because they will always be there to remind me of my infinite worth, to comfort me when I am feeling worthless, and to protect me during the times I need protection most. 
I love them because they are a gift given by a loving Heavenly Father.
And let's be real... I love them because they fit like an extension of my skin. Hasta la vista, VPL!

In summary, the Church is true.

Monday, January 6, 2014

sometimes you do awesome things...

...like get hired as a small company's electrician, then get called in to change a light, take over an hour to do so, then gleefully let out a "Yeah-heah!" when you flip the light switch to see you've succeeded at your task. Well done, old, stinky, weird electrician guy.

And sometimes you do awesome-er things like get paid to use a Chewy granola bar as a spoon for eating your pudding while waiting for a large file to save. Well played, Geeki. Well played.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

I'm going back to school.

I know. Crazy. Everyone's been telling me to go back to school lately, and I keep shunning. WHY would I voluntarily go back to school when I worked so hard to get out? Sure, my major turned out to be a bit of a joke for me, and I actually like learning and would appreciate a sense of direction career-wise... but c'mon. The homework and debt counteracts all that pretty quickly. Why do you think I majored in art at BYU?

Anyway. You're probably wondering who or what got through to me. Well, let me tell you. It was the City of Mesa and the threat of a $220 fine.

Traffic school, here I come.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

We stash.

We just do. All the way down to my youngest cousins. I mean, they stash random, useless things, but they still have stashes. They know they need to practice for when they're older. Here are some of my favorite stashes by the more experienced stashers:

Leftover Barro's
Baggies of pizza have been hidden in all sorts of secret places in our fridge, including the vegetable drawer (no one ever thinks to look there), under the condiments in the door, and mixed deep inside the many bags of assorted cheeses.

Crystal stashed some chocolate chip cookies (fairly recently, I might add) in the Tupperware cupboard "so Mom couldn't reach them."

Mozzarella Sticks
Mom was collecting chicken from the freezer for dinner one night when she discovered a rolled up bag of cheese sticks mixed in with the chicken breasts.

Holiday Candy
Every holiday Dad stores his leftover candy on the top shelf in his closet (probably so Mom can't reach it). Everyone knows it's there, but no one wants to risk trying to eat any... you can never be sure how many years old it is.

A stash of Percocet was recently recovered from the battery compartment of a Game Boy Color.

Assorted Sweets
No one ever thinks to look in the cookie jar since it's almost always empty, so it's the perfect place to stash goods short-term.

No one will ever forget the time Mom whipped out some raw sausage from the snack stash in her purse during a movie at AMC.

Coda began stashing pacifiers in the van door as soon as she was old enough to throw.

Every size, color, and scent of sock has been stashed under our computers at some point.

Gum and Tic-Tacs
Were uncovered on the shelf above the kitchen window during spring cleaning one year.

Random hiding spots
Behind kitchen decor
Behind books on the bookshelf
Inside statues
On top of Mom's keepsake display case
Under beds
Under couches
Under mattresses

Saturday, December 8, 2012


Security-- what a great feeling. I don't get a lot of it these days, though. Most of the insecurity I feel deals with intangible things, like finances, my physical appearance, my emotions, etc.

But I will say that today I've reached a new level of security in the house I'm living in. I can tell you first hand that's it's pretty easy to get out of our house through my window... but it's somewhat difficult to get back in. Difficult enough that I was stuck in my backyard for a little while. Which, really, is great news. Because if I can't get out of my own backyard, I'm betting that not many people are capable of getting into it. And if they can't get into the backyard, they can't make it to my window to attack me. And even if they could get into the backyard, they'd hafta be able to get in through my window before they could actually attack me. Security.

By the way, what landlord padlocks the gate from the front yard to the backyard? So much for sneaking out at night.