Tuesday, February 15, 2011


The other day I watched Proof with my roommates. We giggled. We cried. We drooled every time Jake Gyllenhaal came on screen. Overall, it was far too short of an experience. The funniest part I can remember- prolly only because Kara laughed so hard- is when Gwenyth Paltrow asks her character's ultra-organized, plan-every-breath-you-take sister "Do you ever check off something you haven't done yet?" While the idea leaves a delightful taste on your lips (Go on. Try it. Say "I'm going to check something off my list that I haven't done yet." Felt deliciously rebellious and self-destructive, didn't it?), it soon after summons an overwhelming feeling of panic. Wait... what would I choose? Does it count if I write something stupid in, just so I can cross it off without doing it? After all, for something to go on a To-Do list, you must first have a To-Do list. If there's something so important and pressing that I go through the effort of creating a list of things to do just so I can put that thing on a list... it's clearly important. Too important to just cross off without doing it first.
That being said, I want you all to know that I got to cross something off my list today that I didn't really do. I didn't get to cross it off because my teacher canceled the assignment or excused me from it or anything like that. In fact, this particular item constitutes 10% of my grade no matter what.How, then, did I manage to cross it off? Did I cheat? Decide to ignore the assignment, fail the class and subsequently fail to graduate? No. I simply snuck up on myself... subconsciously designing the necessary circumstances for an effective unjustified-crossing-off.
"English presentation" has graced my academic "To-Do" list since the first day of class. I've thought about it, and considered doing it, on and off for the past month and a half. I spent all day yesterday working on a painting that was due today. Several times I found myself thinking "My presentation is Thursday, right? Man. Wouldn't it suck if I checked and it was actually tomorrow? I'm so tired and have been painting all day and still have to wake up early tomorrow to finish this gazzish painting... I'm hungry."
English class starts at 12:05. At 11:32 I decided to look up the reading I was supposed to have done for class. There, underlined and starred and accented with arrows and sunshine rays was the name "William Wordsworth." I had not only failed to put together my presentation that was apparently today; I had failed to even do the reading it was on! It's not easy to lead a discussion on reading that you don't even know the title of, and that everyone else in the room has read.
I can't remember the last time I was so embarrassed. I hate being the unprepared loser. Anyway. I had a 90% going into the presentation, so worst case scenario says I'm at an 80% now. I can live with that, and it saved me, like, three hours in my week.


Simini said...

hahahaha. And just remember... you only need a 60% or higher to graduate. 10 measly percent really isn't that much. And now you get to hang out in the loving room and watch a movie :)

and dang. That's a pretty picture. I think we should have a marathon.

Ian and Bonnie Gutzman said...

You're my favorite.
I think I would have convulsions if I crossed off something I hadn't done.
And I like the word gazzish.
Maybe we can watch that movie together in the near future. Or Josie and the Pussycats. You choose ;)

Victim of Google Data Mining said...

Since my to do list isn't on paper I do it a little differently. I frequently put reminders on email items, then once they don't seem so important any more, I dismiss them. It feels so good to dismiss them.

When my parents divorced the second time and I was in 8th grade, I decided to move to Salt Lake to live with my dad.

It was a hard decision to make, but. However, it felt so good to not have to turn in a report on the War of 1812 (that I hadn't started, and was due when I was supposed to be turned in when I returned to Washington) that I felt better about the whole situation.