drama at the drive-thru

I took Kara up to Iceberg tonight, only to discover she hates ice cream... and was fasting?? Convenient coincidence... Anyway. We peeled out, I kicked her to the curb and headed over to Little Caesar's. A large pizza and a bag of Crazy Bread for only $6? Yes, please. Hugely long line and stupid drivers clogging the entire parking lot? Never mind. How about Arby's? An expensive, but reliable, choice. And no line! How convenient.

Girl: Welcome to Arby's. May I take your order?
Me: Yeah. Can I have a #9?
Girl: Can I get you a Pepsi with that?
Me: ...Uh. Well it IS a combo, right?
Girl: Yeah.
Me: Oh. Well can I have a Root Beer instead?
Girl: Sure. Would you like to upgrade that combo to a medium or large?
Me: A medium's fine.
Girl: Would you like to try some of our new, delicious CinnaBites for just a dollar?
Me: *sigh* Sure.
Girl: Alright. That'll be $7.95 at the window.
Me: Thanks. (drive up to the window, and three or four other cars are soon following)

Girl: Welcome to Arby's. May I take your order? Out of twenty? Would you like fries with that? (she disappears for a moment for no apparent reason).
Guy: Hey, that crispy chicken is gonna be about five minutes. Is that okay?
Me: *sigh* Yeah.
Girl: (reappears) So that's two number sixes and a four? Would you like to upgrade those to mediums or larges? Here's 10, 11, 12 and five cents. (re-disappears)
Guy: Um... would you be okay with roasted chicken instead?
Me: Sure.
Guy: Want me to add on lettuce and tomatoes for the inconvenience? (I smile and nod, slightly shocked a chicken sandwich wouldn't come with lettuce or tomatoes, and he starts walking away) And maybe some onions?
Me: (to myself) Onions?! Nooooooo! (commence sitting with my bymyself for a minute or two, moping about the impending onions and less-fatty/tasty chicken... a long time to be in a drive-thru, especially while you're hungry and moping)

Guy: Did she give you your CinnaBites yet?
Me: No. (the guy is clearly frustrated now)
Guy: (hands me a bag). Sorry. We're really understaffed tonight, and she forgot to drop your CinnaBites, so here's what we're gonna do. I obviously upgraded your fries to a large and we're also gonna give you that crispy chicken. And your CinnaBites, but those will be a minute.
Me: (think to myself "How delightful!" and I offer to pull into the parking lot on the other side to wait)
Girl: (mysteriously re-appeared in the middle of our exchange) Yeah, you could do that.
Guy: We can't have the customers pull out. It's night (motions dramatically towards the ceiling with his hand).
Me: (totally confused)
Girl: (to Guy) Okay, but there are, like, three cars behind her and it's already been six minutes! Do you realize I could get fired?! (turns to me, and sugarcoats her voice) Yeah, if you could pull into the parking lot that would be great. Oh, and would you like a shake for the inconvenience?
Me: (after making sure Guy isn't close enough to hear) Yeah! That'd be great.

I pull around and the girl comes out a couple minutes later. I leave for campus, where I take inventory:
2 chicken sandwiches, 1 roasted and 1 crispy
2 large fries
1 large drink
1 small shake
1 thing of CinnaBites

The CinnaBites were really gross, but considering the upgrades and entire extra meal I got for ordering them, totally worth it. Kelly and I dined like queens, and I waited for less than ten minutes altogether. Not bad, not bad. Arby's? A new favorite.

saving lives... one pint at a time

I used to think that the worst part of donating blood was that prick they give you on the end of your finger to check your iron levels. While that vicious little episode is no longer in first, it's a close second to them leaving you hooked up for a good few minutes after you already filled the bag. My arm started feeling really heavy and like it might've been bloating. I got really squirmy and was very uncomfortable, but at least I didn't get sick/pass out like others who have been hooked up too long. Who knew I'd bleed so fast? 3:59. A new personal best, I believe. Think you can take me?

the concrete jungle

In response to popular demand, a post on my recent trip to New York:

It was great. I took my camera but didn't feel like using it much. Instead, I got other people to take pictures of me on their cameras... a much better plan than lugging around my own. If any of their pictures of me are really super amazingly life changing to behold I'll post them once I get them. In the mean time, some random pictures I took on my phone. They are in no particular order.

I saw several nationally recognized monuments... from a distance.

We went to the Cloisters one day. Apparently it's a medieval-ish type of gallery. Has the unicorn tapestries and such. There was awful music playing in the museum store, which was overrun with unicorns, unicorns and more unicorns. And was, oddly enough, occupied by mostly men.

It was a lot of walking and standing. We got tired.

We rode the subways a lot, and it was just like in the movies. Minus the movies that involve firearms and explosions and such. This was, like, the only empty stop we were ever in. It was creepy.

We stopped at Washington Square to watch a couple street shows. This guy crammed himself in a box, and afterward one of his buddies jumped over five people lined up shoulder to shoulder (four of which you can see on the right). He did a flip at the same time.

We stopped at Strand, a really cool bookstore that has over 18 miles of books. Ca-razy. I found a couple books I wouldn't mind getting for my birthday in a few months...


This is Burt Silverman's place. He's kind of a big deal. We also visited the studios and/or houses of Brett Helquist (best known for illustrating A Series of Unfortunate Events), Brad Holland (one of the very top illustrators of today), Kinuko Craft (crazily rendered stuff), and Paul Zelinsky. We were supposed to visit Blue Sky Studios (they did Ice Age and stuff), but they canceled on us since our group turned out bigger than we thought it would. I was super bummed since no Blue Sky meant no Peter de Seve. :( Most of you guys don't know, so I'm gonna tell you. These are all really big-name illustrators. I mean, they're all on Wikipedia and everything. It's really awesome that BYU has such a good relationship with these artists and that they were all so willing to let us poke around their studios and ask them questions and stuff. Kind of a once-in-a-lifetime type of thing.
After meeting all those awesome artists we got to meet with an illustration agent named Richard Solomon, who represents not only Kinuko and Brad, but also C.F. Payne (who came and visited BYU several weeks ago), Jon Foster (who visited BYU last year, and who I admire greatly), Gregory Manchess (who came last semester), Sterling Hundley, and Gary Kelly. All hugely famous and successful. He also represents other excellent artists that are still working their way to the top. He blogged about our visit.


Gotta watch some pros play the Big Piano at FAO Schwarz, then take my picture next to a Lego C3PO. Did it for Sim and Hil. Giant toy stores are great fun. :]

Nan had a birthday while we were there. I made her ride a duck.

Built an extremely accurate version of me at the Lego store. I would have bought it.... but art of that caliber is expensive.

The quaint, quiet parts of the city were a nice break.



Subway posters are nine bajillion times more effective at informing me than TV commercials. Maybe because my house doesn't have cable...

Now wasn't that fun? Everything you hoped for and so much more? Thought so.

invisibility

Remember when you were little, and you and your friends would ask each other what super power you would most like to have? I always chose the ability to fly. Inwardly I would scoff when anyone chose invisibility. WHY would you want to be invisible? Besides all the complications involving nudity, it just seems plain silly. Reflecting on recent events, it makes sense that I would think that... I already feel invisible most of the time. A feat, you're thinking, for someone of my volume. Imagine my surprise.

Mmmm...

The other day I watched Proof with my roommates. We giggled. We cried. We drooled every time Jake Gyllenhaal came on screen. Overall, it was far too short of an experience. The funniest part I can remember- prolly only because Kara laughed so hard- is when Gwenyth Paltrow asks her character's ultra-organized, plan-every-breath-you-take sister "Do you ever check off something you haven't done yet?" While the idea leaves a delightful taste on your lips (Go on. Try it. Say "I'm going to check something off my list that I haven't done yet." Felt deliciously rebellious and self-destructive, didn't it?), it soon after summons an overwhelming feeling of panic. Wait... what would I choose? Does it count if I write something stupid in, just so I can cross it off without doing it? After all, for something to go on a To-Do list, you must first have a To-Do list. If there's something so important and pressing that I go through the effort of creating a list of things to do just so I can put that thing on a list... it's clearly important. Too important to just cross off without doing it first.
That being said, I want you all to know that I got to cross something off my list today that I didn't really do. I didn't get to cross it off because my teacher canceled the assignment or excused me from it or anything like that. In fact, this particular item constitutes 10% of my grade no matter what.How, then, did I manage to cross it off? Did I cheat? Decide to ignore the assignment, fail the class and subsequently fail to graduate? No. I simply snuck up on myself... subconsciously designing the necessary circumstances for an effective unjustified-crossing-off.
"English presentation" has graced my academic "To-Do" list since the first day of class. I've thought about it, and considered doing it, on and off for the past month and a half. I spent all day yesterday working on a painting that was due today. Several times I found myself thinking "My presentation is Thursday, right? Man. Wouldn't it suck if I checked and it was actually tomorrow? I'm so tired and have been painting all day and still have to wake up early tomorrow to finish this gazzish painting... I'm hungry."
English class starts at 12:05. At 11:32 I decided to look up the reading I was supposed to have done for class. There, underlined and starred and accented with arrows and sunshine rays was the name "William Wordsworth." I had not only failed to put together my presentation that was apparently today; I had failed to even do the reading it was on! It's not easy to lead a discussion on reading that you don't even know the title of, and that everyone else in the room has read.
I can't remember the last time I was so embarrassed. I hate being the unprepared loser. Anyway. I had a 90% going into the presentation, so worst case scenario says I'm at an 80% now. I can live with that, and it saved me, like, three hours in my week.

I quit my job.

Isn't this a lovely picture? It's of me and my friend, Kelly. I'm the fatter one, obviously. Kelly was essentially the only person I knew when I started work at BYU Independent Study last January. I was hired as a graphic artist, which means that I drew pretty pictures to accompany the online course IS offers. The images I made looked a lot like the one above, actually.... and that is why I will do great things in life.
I remember sitting next to Kelly on my first day, asking her questions since she was my "trainer" person. By the end of the week I was answering her questions, as well as the questions of my fellow newbies. But Kelly's great. She was really nice to me, even though I apparently had a reputation in our program--and not a very good one. I was considered grouchy, unapproachable and generally angry at life. That was actually a pretty accurate assessment at the time... art is hard. I would (and still do, I guess) get frustrated and prefer concentrating over socializing. By putting a nice, big "BUG OFF" sign on my face, I managed to get more done than many of my counterparts.
But now I was thrown into a working environment with these people. And here was Kelly, being nice to me even though she knew as well as the next person that I was scary and grumpy. I decided that she could see my less beastly side. Word quickly spread that I'm amazing and I made more friends at work. They started coming to movie nights at my apartment and saying hi to me on campus and giving me hugs at Smith's. I had to get away... so I quit my job. Just kidding, but not really. But really, just kidding. That's not why I quit.
Don't get me wrong. I loved my job. My boss was awesome, the pay was the best I've ever had, the co-workers were chill, the hours were flexible, and they gave us really good free food all the time. It's the best job I've ever had.

Lilo & Stitch

PROBLEM
Little Dave's passing was a tragedy. "...but it's not just tragedy, it's dementia, despair; it's this hole...in each of [my] eyes, where all the events that happen in this real world kind of just fall through. It's loneliness in it's most crippling form, the kind that no amount of love, or human contact, could ever mend... [I need] to try to fill those holes with something else. But with what? Hope? I can try to fill those holes with drugs, soothing words, but that's all. I hope [my] wounds will heal with time, but right now, things aren't looking good." Ok. That was a tad dramatic. But I DID need something to mend my broken, guilt-ridden heart. So where did I turn to fill the void? PetSmart, of course. Time to right my wrong.

SOLUTION
Simini was dying for a fish, and it turns out she's quite picky-- especially when it comes to her water-dwelling friends. We browsed the fish area for quite a long while, sizing up the fish based on recommended tank size, price, and aesthetic appeal. It was then that I spotted the magical tank... a tank containing underwater frogs! We couldn't see any in the tank, so we called a worker over and asked whether they were out of stock. She proceeded to stick her arm into the germ/scum/poop/dead fish/nastiness infested tank and grab the large rock structure resting at the bottom. She waved it around viciously, knocking into fish (and prolly knocking several unconcious) and stirring up roundabouts of 15 little frogs. I was excited for the .7 seconds it took before I realized that 13 of the 15 frogs weren't moving of their own accord. I'd never seen so many dead frogs. Simini and I exchanged horrified looks right before the worker set the rock structure down and walked away, leaving us to stare at the dead frogs and then notice that one of the two living ones had been pinned under the rock structure and was struggling to escape! We panicked for a moment. I don't know what Simini was thinking at the time, but I was trying to decide whether to call back the heartless, germ-loving worker or to stick my own precious arm into the nastiness to save the frog from his seemingly eminent death. I opted to call back the worker. Or was it Simini who did? It's all a blur... anyway. She came back and freed the poor dear and that's when I decided that I needed to save one of those poor creatures. I considered it a step towards fully repenting of the wrong I did Little Dave. Simini picked a guppy, we hunted for the best food (which included frozen bloodworms for the frog.... yum!), water conditioner and tank decor, then headed back to the studio with our new friends.

HAPPY ENDING
We made a very nice little place for our buddies to live. They sit on the window sill right next to my desk, overlooking Y mountain, among other things. The first few days neither moved much; they seemed a little depressed. Or scarred, perhaps. Eventually, though, there was noticeable improvement in their health and stamina. Because the decor of choice for the tank was an island accompanied by blue tank rocks, Simini suggested we give them island names. We settled on Lilo for the guppy (a male, we later verified) and Stitch for the frog. They are quite active and happy, and everyone in the studio loves them. Stitch, who sat in the exact same spot his first two days in the studio, now moves around freely. Sometimes he hides under the palm tree's branches, or swims around then freezes mid-action, floating along stiff in the middle of the tank... it kinda looks like he's rehearsing for an underwater Matrix movie. Anyway. Here's a tender picture of Stitch (Lilo is a bit harder to catch sitting still):
He's kind of like a quiet guardian... like Batman... anyway. I love him.

NEW PROBLEM
Simini also got a betta fish for her house that day. He died three (or was it two?) days later, so we got her another one. The new one-- Richt (pronounced Rick and short for Xyrichtus) fell sick recently and we returned to PetSmart to get him some meds. Of all the times I've been to PetSmart, that was the first time they had pythons in stock... and I wanted one. Kind of a lot. I've wanted a snake ever since high school. All my former roommates were strongly against the idea of me owning a snake while living with them. However, I think I'm moving next semester, and my will-be roommate is cool enough that she'd be ok with me owning a snake. Now I just have to figure out whether I can afford it and whether I can make that kind of commitment. And keep the poor thing alive... stay tuned to find out how that all goes.