I took Kara up to Iceberg tonight, only to discover she hates ice cream... and was fasting?? Convenient coincidence... Anyway. We peeled out, I kicked her to the curb and headed over to Little Caesar's. A large pizza and a bag of Crazy Bread for only $6? Yes, please. Hugely long line and stupid drivers clogging the entire parking lot? Never mind. How about Arby's? An expensive, but reliable, choice. And no line! How convenient.
Girl: Welcome to Arby's. May I take your order?
Me: Yeah. Can I have a #9?
Girl: Can I get you a Pepsi with that?
Me: ...Uh. Well it IS a combo, right?
Me: Oh. Well can I have a Root Beer instead?
Girl: Sure. Would you like to upgrade that combo to a medium or large?
Me: A medium's fine.
Girl: Would you like to try some of our new, delicious CinnaBites for just a dollar?
Me: *sigh* Sure.
Girl: Alright. That'll be $7.95 at the window.
Me: Thanks. (drive up to the window, and three or four other cars are soon following)
Girl: Welcome to Arby's. May I take your order? Out of twenty? Would you like fries with that? (she disappears for a moment for no apparent reason).
Guy: Hey, that crispy chicken is gonna be about five minutes. Is that okay?
Me: *sigh* Yeah.
Girl: (reappears) So that's two number sixes and a four? Would you like to upgrade those to mediums or larges? Here's 10, 11, 12 and five cents. (re-disappears)
Guy: Um... would you be okay with roasted chicken instead?
Guy: Want me to add on lettuce and tomatoes for the inconvenience? (I smile and nod, slightly shocked a chicken sandwich wouldn't come with lettuce or tomatoes, and he starts walking away) And maybe some onions?
Me: (to myself) Onions?! Nooooooo! (commence sitting with my bymyself for a minute or two, moping about the impending onions and less-fatty/tasty chicken... a long time to be in a drive-thru, especially while you're hungry and moping)
Guy: Did she give you your CinnaBites yet?
Me: No. (the guy is clearly frustrated now)
Guy: (hands me a bag). Sorry. We're really understaffed tonight, and she forgot to drop your CinnaBites, so here's what we're gonna do. I obviously upgraded your fries to a large and we're also gonna give you that crispy chicken. And your CinnaBites, but those will be a minute.
Me: (think to myself "How delightful!" and I offer to pull into the parking lot on the other side to wait)
Girl: (mysteriously re-appeared in the middle of our exchange) Yeah, you could do that.
Guy: We can't have the customers pull out. It's night (motions dramatically towards the ceiling with his hand).
Me: (totally confused)
Girl: (to Guy) Okay, but there are, like, three cars behind her and it's already been six minutes! Do you realize I could get fired?! (turns to me, and sugarcoats her voice) Yeah, if you could pull into the parking lot that would be great. Oh, and would you like a shake for the inconvenience?
Me: (after making sure Guy isn't close enough to hear) Yeah! That'd be great.
I pull around and the girl comes out a couple minutes later. I leave for campus, where I take inventory:
2 chicken sandwiches, 1 roasted and 1 crispy
2 large fries
1 large drink
1 small shake
1 thing of CinnaBites
The CinnaBites were really gross, but considering the upgrades and entire extra meal I got for ordering them, totally worth it. Kelly and I dined like queens, and I waited for less than ten minutes altogether. Not bad, not bad. Arby's? A new favorite.